


Pumpkins are great for throwing shade

by Caffeine_addict



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autumn, Fluff, Halloween, Holidays, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 10:42:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20890796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffeine_addict/pseuds/Caffeine_addict
Summary: Loki and Tony open a haunted apartment every autumn. Matt and Foggy have spent years searching for the urban version of a haunted house attraction. This year they finally find it.





	Pumpkins are great for throwing shade

September 1st, a random Starbucks, looks pretty damn cosy

“You know what we should do this year?” Every September Matt and Foggy got together to celebrate the first seasonally appropriate drink (pumpkin spice latte) while making a list of things they want to do this autumn to prepare for that glorious holiday that is Halloween. 

“We should find that haunted apartment and go there.” Matt announced. He bent down to find his coffee, his fingers tracing the rim of a tall Starbucks mug.   
Foggy sighed, “Every goddamn year, Matt. It’s an urban legend, there is no pop-up haunted apartment in this city.” 

“There is, I swear it! I heard two girls talking about it! We just need to ask around, someone must know about it.” Matt, who had short dark hair, wore round red sunglasses everywhere he went. Not to be cool, he did that before it was cool to be wearing sunglasses indoors at night, he was in fact blind and people found it odd when he would seem to stare into the distance. This way, anyone talking to him could imagine they had his undivided attention. If they noticed he was blind in the first place. He had an excellent sense of his surroundings, meaning he rarely bumped into furniture or walls even in new surroundings. Foggy helped when those failed. 

“I’ll put in on the list, but I’m telling you, it is an urban legend.” Foggy had long blonde hair, and in his hands he held a notepad with red and yellow leaves. It was special, only to be used once a year for this very occasion. 

“What else do we have?” He asked hoping more useful suggestions would show up. 

“I propose we make four jack’o lanterns.” Matt loved making them, despite him being quite bad at making a nice pattern. He claimed it was because Foggy always breathed down his neck to make sure he didn’t cut anything off. To be fair, he was just a shit decorator. 

“Why four?”

“Because we should make pumpkin pie, pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread and a home made spiked pumpkin spice latte. We need them.” 

“But we can’t get the meat off that way…” Foggy had a similar idea, not realising that you only remove the seeds. Those are edible when roasted. He was innocently watching a tutorial for a pumpkin spice latte when he learnt that life-altering information. 

“For real?” Matt was shook. 

“Yeah, you need to put them in the over for 40 minutes and then scrape it off and it’s a whole process.” 

“Then 8 pumpkins.” Matt suggested. 

He thought about it for a second. “It would improve our quality of living… you know, since we’d both have delicious food and beautiful decorations.” Foggy loved to hold whatever liquid he was drinking in his mouth for a long second or two before he actually swallowed it. The taste filled his mouth with coffee and the je ne sais quoi of the pumpkin spice latte. Warm drinks really were something special. 

“Exactly, it’s only prudent to do so. It would be criminal not to have 8 pumpkins. And we’re law students, we know those things.” Matt added. 

They chuckled at their silly proclamations, a good thing about being a at least considered an adult, is getting to choose what you do. As things stood, Halloween was going to be lit. 

“I will add making all these incredible treats to our list.” Foggy was beyond excited. “In addition, if the court allows it, I will add watch Beetlejuice and The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Foggy joked. 

“I’m the court now?” Matt was grinning from ear to ear, “I suppose it doth please the court. This year I was thinking we could explore the wonderfully terrible world of splatter films, maybe finally see that film from Juno.”

“Wow, Matt, how is that still on your mind. I mean no one has thought about Juno for years.”

He shrugged, “I found it on Netflix again last night.” 

Foggy considered it, having been the person who chose the subgenre last year, it was Matt’s turn. “Fine, splatter it is. You provide my vomit bucket.”   
“If you’re doing that, who will provide the commentary? I live for your sarcastic descriptions.” 

“So, the films are covered, is the food portion done too?” Foggy examined the list, there were some carnival foods like baked apples, toffee apples and cinnamon roasted almonds. Of course he was going to eat all those things anyway, but putting them on the list meant he would do it at least twice.

“Nice. Put baked apples on the list too.”

Foggy did as he was told. Beneath it he wrote play in a pile of leaves and take a walk in the rain with rain coats (puddles!). He then told Matt what he did.   
“Love it. Our little list is doing so well.”

“There are of course the things that go without saying – go trick or treating, watch spooky scary skeletons (remix), listen to sweater weather and change your mobile picture to something halloweeny – that’s for me – and you use the scary voice caller id.” Foggy wrote everything down neatly, the paper was after all precious, it required a level of beauty and attention. When this process would be done, he would hang the paper on their noticeboard. Then they crossed whatever they did out. Normally, they completed everything but the haunted apartment. 

“There is one other thing.” Matt remembered the nice smelling girl from their apartment building. When he passed her she smelt like a pumpkin pie and he was delighted to hear she was just explaining to her friend that Bath and Body Works could transform you and your house into a cinnamon-apple-pumpkin monstrosity. Just what they needed. 

“I’ve overheard you can buy pumpkin spice latte candles and hand sanitisers. Those girls have been hiding things from us boys!”  
Foggy gasped at the news. Of course that was possible, this was America and in a week everything would be pumpkin flavoured. “I am putting it on the list and I am in love. Once again, girls hold the secret to the universe.” 

They continued. In the end their list resembled something like this: 

MATT AND FOGGY’S SPOOKTASTIC HALLOWEEN LIST  
1\. Visit haunted apartment   
2\. Make four jack-o-lanterns  
3\. Make pumpkin soup  
4\. Make pumpkin pie  
5\. Make pumpkin spiked lattes  
6\. Make pumpkin bread  
7\. Watch Beetlejuice  
8\. Watch The Nightmare Before Christmas  
9\. Explore splatter films (The Wizard of Gore)  
10\. Make baked apples  
11\. Walk in the rain with raincoats (puddle!)  
12\. Play in a pile of leaves  
13\. Go trick or treating  
14\. Watch spooky scary skeletons (remix),  
15\. Listen to sweater weather  
16\. Change your mobile picture to something halloweeny (Foggy), scary caller Id (Matt)  
17\. Buy pumpkin things from Bath and Body Works  
18\. Solve a corn maze  
19\. Apple picking

***

Two weeks earlier

Loki loved Halloween ever since he was a little boy who saw It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and loved every minute of the multi-coloured leaves and the orange hues in the episode. His mother even bought him a special blanket because of it. It made him even more grateful when he found a boyfriend who was just as happy to spend two months obsessed with what could easily be considered a minor holiday. For the last two days they have been brainstorming ideas for their haunted apartment. It wasn’t like a mini haunted house, that would have been annoying to live in, they made that mistake the first year. No, it was more like a macabre museum where the music and ambiance made it difficult to be inside. There were no jump scares, merely lights that made it look like a shadow passed you. In many ways that was scarier than the average pitch-black haunted house. 

“Lokes,” Tony called for his sleepy boyfriend’s attention from his side of the bed, “get this, and after you hear it, I am sure you will love it and call me a genius, this year’s theme is…” pausing to make sure Loki was looking, even if it was through two slits, “classic movie monsters.”  
The rave-haired man yawned. “I could see that.” 

“Imagine the possibilities, my dearest darlingest Loki, we could have a mummy, Frankenstein, the Gillman, Dracula and then we would lead the people around the apartment and you already look like a vampire and you’d drop casual hints how this apartment is no ordinary place and at the very end you would pretend to take a wrong turn and there would be a fake doll, but you had taken all its blood, so you’d like, you know, drink some. Then you would tell them you had to kill them, you know, since they saw you. Finally, I’d burst in and we’d get in this fight and I would fake kill you, there’d be fake blood everywhere and that would be the end.”   
Tony was breathless, this was to be their crowning glory, it was the best thing he had ever thought of, with or without the 6 espressos he drank in the search for the perfect idea, not that they were without their toil – he struggled to hold still the glass of water he sorely needed. 

His boyfriend sat up on the bed and yawned with his eyes still closed. It was far too early for this shit. Unlike Tony, who fell asleep moments after his head hit the pillow, but still got up in the middle of the night to do whatever he felt compelled to do (today it was their apartment, who knows what tomorrow will bring), he was a far more stupid sleeper. That is, he felt a little bit restless, but decided the solution was reading something on his phone, as he was an idiot he fell into a deep, scary hole of scariest true life ghost encounters. Only at 2 am, did he fall asleep, his phone still in his hand and a dream about a woman stuck in a wall filling his mind. He hoped it didn’t mean anything. 

“Sounds like you got this year covered. We were cutting it a little close.” The matters under Loki sunk a little deeper, as Tony lied down next to him. Yawning once more, Loki opened his eyes to see it was 6 am, on a Saturday and Tony was asleep once again. At least he left him a cup of his favourite coffee (black, cinnamon bun flavoured). Nursing it, he watched It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and went about compiling a list of things they needed for their museum of horrors. With each item he wrote down, he got more excited about Tony’s idea – especially the ending. It was similar to last year’s where Tony fake lit a room on fire and convinced everyone it was real, but few people returned to their apartment, while many left wishing they had never entered. 

Loki looked out the window, it was still early, but he hoped the cloudy weather would continue. After the scorching summer they had, some depressingly cold weather was just what the doctor ordered. Too impatient to wait any longer, he used his foot to not so gently shake Tony. On the fist attempt, his sleeping boyfriend grunted a little bit, prompting Loki to try again harder. 

“I’m awake, I’m awake.” He shot up into a sitting position, his coffee shakes under control. 

“Good, I have a list of things we need and wouldn’t you know it, the first one is breakfast.” Loki teased with a devilish smile. 

Tony was having none if it. “Interesting. We better buy it then.” Loki was nice enough to bring him a glass of water, it was waiting for his return to the un-dormant population. He gulped it down, then rested the glass in his lap. “I was aiming for you to make it, but I ain’t mad, because then we can get a psl.”   
“Could you please let me sleep some more?” He sent three kisses in Loki’s direction, however seeing his eyebrow raised up, he sent three more. Finally, he achieved his goal, as Loki smiled and picked up his volume of Arthur Machen stories from the nightstand. When in a magnanimous mood Loki would read to Tony as he rested. They never got far, no more than a few lines. 

Loki cleared his throat and started to read from The Great God Pan   
“Chapter One, The experiment

"I am glad you came, Clarke; very glad indeed. I was not sure you could spare the time."

"I was able to make arrangements for a few days; things are not very lively just now. But have you no misgivings, Raymond? Is it absolutely safe?"  
The two men were slowly pacing the terrace in front of Dr. Raymond's house. The sun still hung above the western mountain-line, but it shone with a dull red glow that cast no shadows, and all the air was quiet; a sweet breath came from the great wood on the hillside above, and with it, at intervals, the soft murmuring call of the wild doves. Below, in the long lovely valley, the river wound in and out between the lonely hills, and, as the sun hovered and vanished into the west, a faint mist, pure white, began to rise from the hills. Dr. Raymond turned sharply to his friend.”

Loki glanced at Tony, at least what he could see of him. The brunet was wrapped in his fluffy duvet in such a way you could only see his face. He was perfectly still, perhaps snoring quietly. Smiling softly, Loki continued reading, this time for himself. Nothing beats a chapter or two in the morning. 

***  
Sometime in September, Matt and Foggy’s apartment, a lovely place that at the moment resembles a goth thrift store. 

Their list was coming along nicely. Bath and Body works provided them with many many scented candles – no fewer than two were warming up their apartment. Just last afternoon, they went apple picking – those apples were now in the oven being baked with a good slather of butter, sugar and cinnamon. No better comfort food existed. 

“I think we might have gone overboard on decorations.” 

Since Matt couldn’t fully appreciate their presence, they were always done by Foggy for his viewing pleasure. It could have been great, but much like every year, it was an explosion. Every flat surface had a small plastic pumpkin on it, as well as two black figurines on each side (a diy that Foggy did last year, when he painted an old figurine black and gave it red eyes). Black cardboard bats were scotch taped to their white walls, all the lights had fake spiderwebs (as well as black spiders). The pièce de résistance was a hefty law book they hated the most also painted black and turned into a spell book. Using an old bird perch, Foggy transformed it into a book holder from hell. Seriously, it had black and purple tentacles. Foggy was a diy queen and proud of it. 

“Like every other time?” Matt teased him. “All I ask is you make sure I won’t ruin all your hard work like barging into the spell book. Or that ghost you are making.” He paused, “Why do we need a ghost?”

“Because it’s Halloween.” Foggy shrugged. “And maybe someone from the street will be scared shitless.” 

“Nice.” They both giggled like schoolboys. 

“I hope they see the bloodstains on the fridge too.”

“Is that why you needed the brush for?” Matt was working while Foggy did all the decorating – it was their agreement, Foggy went as crazy as he wanted, while his blind roommate was overjoyed he couldn’t see the mess he left behind. 

Matt was wearing an orange pumpkin sweater with Pusheen the cat Halloween pyjama bottoms. Topping off the entire look were Jack Skellington socks. A mixed message by all counts, but incredibly cosy as far as Matt was concerned. 

His roommate was wearing an outfit much like Matt’s. Jack the Skeleton made a return appearance in Foggy’s onesie. Being short has its perks. 

“You know what Matt? It’s rich to critique my decorations when you have made me watch horrible graphic violence. I am aware that you have been doing your research and chosen more “light-hearted” ones, but fuck you Matt, I don’t need to know what anyone’s obviously fake intestines need to look like.” Foggy’s complaint was sincere, in its despair, but when he needed to make a point less harshly he adopted the Valley girl accent. It helped. 

Matt fake gasped. “OMG, Becky, how dare you. It’s something everyone needs to know.”

Foggy was the master of deadpan judging face. However, silence was enough for Matt to get the same message.

“This is the same genre as The Human Centipede. No one should watch that for enjoyment. My Halloween is about pumpkins and an occasional pg-13 scare.” The list was sacred, everything had to be done, but one day he will throw up if they were going to continue this. Matt was the horrible friend that was interested in the visuals of the film (at least as to what was causing the sounds), meaning he had no choice but to watch the film thoroughly. Only hearing made Matt susceptible to jumpscares, he was also more aware of the score’s intention to raise tension. What Matt liked most, was the music. Somehow the eerie atmospheric one was the best for him. To each their own. 

“What about Scream Queens, we wanted to see that and it could still fit the theme.” Matt offered. He kind of lost a taste for the films after seeing The Wizard of Gore. It was what he wanted to see (hear), after that he quickly found that the films were relatively repetitive and much too visual. 

Foggy considered the offer. It was horror, but much more a black comedy. Same person that made ahs also made Scream Queens… His taste for horror was limited to American Horror Story, that to be fair, is not a pinnacle of terror, but does spin a good tale. And that is exactly what he likes the most – Hannibal is an incredibly complex narrative about the mind and limits of personal freedom, not to mention one man’s values being shattered over time. It’s hard stuff. AHS is less hard, but the story always comes first. Last night’s film was… gory and thankfully obviously fake intestines came from people. 

“Ok, but tonight we watch The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

“Deal.”

“Also I heard that seasons two isn’t as good as season one.” Foggy commented.

“I guess we’ll have to establish that ourselves.” They turned back to the news. It wasn’t with any great pleasure that they watched it, but it helped keep up with some of the relevant cases. If nothing else, it was good background noise. 

“I think the apples are done, I smell faint burning.” Matt remarked.

Foggy sniffed loudly to check. “I put them in for 18 minutes, we’re good. Besides I smell only a healthy amount of burning sugar.” His attention turned back to the tv screen. The reporter was showing pictures of the new panda cubs at the zoo and he was loving it.

“But that was 30 minutes ago…” 

“…”

“Shit, I forgot to set the timer. Fuck you, Matt for distracting me. Not cool.” The oven was happily doing its business of baking apples when he hastily arrived to it. The apples were… baked, a little bit shrivelled, but still edible looking. They would be soggy of course, which made him a bit sad. No one likes soggy apples.   
“At least they are alive.” He whispered. Serving them with a little bit more sugar, he returned to the living room where they watched their film. The apples were still good and both of them went to sleep happy. 

The next day, in Starbuck’s

“I suppose one could potentially find the limit of how many psls one could have.” Foggy mused. He loved interrupting Matt (or anyone he was studying with) to tell him something he remembered before it escaped his mind. Luckily, that mood lasted for about an hour and then he could get down to some work.   
Two mugs of psl were next to their enormous law books. Foggy had a variety of markers, while Matt worked on his computer, listening to the same book.   
He was making good progress on his assignment, two hours already behind him, when he was made aware of some interesting conversation. A redhead and a blonde were talking about something that happened yesterday with a third friend. 

“Where was that again?” The third friend, a tiny brunette asked. 

“An apartment close by. We can give you the address if you can live through it.”

“Oh, my girlfriend Darcy would love it. She loves vampires and scary stuff. Been badgering me about going to a haunted house for ages.”

“It’s on the corner of 47th and Ninth Avenue. Ring for Stark.” The redhead answered, beating the other girl for the chance.   
Foggy jotted down the address in capital letters. He poked Matt with his elbow. 

“What’” He asked out loud. Much louder than Foggy wanted. “Shhhhhs.” 

“See those girls?” He pointed at the trio that were continuing their conversation not noticing, “they were talking about a haunted apartment. They even gave an address and what bell to ring.”

Matt’s face expressed his joy. Finally, his years of believing paid off. He felt like Linus except he got to see the Great Pumpkin. 

“Let’s go then, tonight.” 

“We will, but not immediately. It would look too strange if we just upped and left, after hearing that address.” Foggy was so excited for Matt and the haunted house being real, he forgot he still had to live through it.

“Ten minutes.” Matty sighed, he doubted that their neighbours would notice the quick exit, but he had been pushing Foggy lately with all the films. He had a sneaky suspicion tonight could be a turn for the worse. 

The haunted apartment, same evening

Tony Stark loved what he and Loki created here. Each year Loki’s crafting skills served to make their not so humble abode the stuff of nightmares. And to think that Loki’s father his said his art degree would be useless, he he he. They decided to stick with the idea of having a museum of horror, with Loki as the guide and Tony making a surprise appearance later. 

“How do I look?” Loki adjusted his black skinny jeans, he turned to Tony who was staring at the fake mummy in the hallway. It was in such a random place that Tony always passed it on route to the bathroom. Not problematic during the day, but at night… he was glad that the bathroom was in spitting distance of the mummy. Loki did too good of a job. 

“Tony?” Loki repeated. This time he heard him.

“Yeah?” 

“I asked you how I look.” 

Tony turned to him, the closet vampire outfit was basically Loki’s everyday outfit, but with more makeup. His nails were painted a glossy black and the usually messy hair was slicked back to show off his widow’s peaks. Or to make him look more like Dracula. He also put pale foundation on his face to even it out and hide his rosy cheeks. Loki thrived in the cold, whereas Tony loved warm places. During the haunted apartment months they kept the apartment cold to make it more unsettling. That never stopped him from feeling warm from the nerves. 

“Horribly good.” 

“Good answer.” Loki took a step to his boyfriend to give him a kiss. It was to be a short one, since as soon as their lips touched the bell rang. 

Tony muttered in protest, but Loki answered on the intercom. 

“Haunted apartment, your host speaking.”

“Oh, great so we are at the right house.” Downstairs Foggy sighed in relief. 

“Yup, 6th floor, on your right.” He buzzed him in and resumed kissing his boyfriend.” 

The poor bastards, Foggy and Matt, visit the apartment

It wasn’t that hard to find the right apartment. The queue of people waiting was a dead giveaway. It wasn’t as much of a line, as 8 people were sitting on the gold chairs by the apartment 69. Two chairs were empty. They sat down and waited. 

Foggy’s heart was beating. Matt dragged him into a haunted house only once and he had a panic attack at the end of that one. He even punched the clown that scared him. He prayed that the apartment was overhyped. 

Suddenly the door opened. A tall lanky figure dressed all in black appeared. 

“Good evening. Welcome to the Museum of Horror. I will be your host for the evening, guiding you through the terrible things we will be seeing. Please no touching, I am only saying this for your safety, no one knows what would happen were you to touch any of the exhibits here. I was assured they were dormant and would not harm anyone under the right circumstances…. Please stay with the group, we wouldn’t want to lose anyone… again.” 

Foggy grabbed Matt’s forearm. “I hate you.” He whispered. The procession followed Loki inside. They all seemed just as nervous as Foggy. Perhaps a tad more excited.   
The first room they entered was a dimly lit hallway, however all the light was natural coming from the dusty artificial candles. Foggy was glad to discover it was not pitch black. At first glance it looked like an actual museum of horror.

“The first exhibit is the hand of… nobody knows. You can see that it was not cut off, it doesn’t appear to belong to a person.” 

A terribly lifelike hand complete with veins and glossy nails was in an iron cage suspended from the ceiling. Beneath it was a gold plaque that said: “The hand of death”. Foggy was about to describe the scene to Matt when the black-haired man continued speaking. 

“Yet, the story goes that one faithful night, when it was dark and stormy, a young woman in Louisiana was walking the corridors of her home. She had only a candle to illuminate her way, because the storm destroyed what was of the town’s electricity. She felt something was following her, but every time she turned… nothing. Having made it to the bedroom she bolted the doors and went to sleep. The next morning, her brother went to check on her, after her not appearing at breakfast. He had to destroy the door to get inside. What he saw, changed him.” Loki paused to see the unsettled faces. 

“His sister was dead, strangled in the dead of the night, but her murderer remained in the room. A stupid decision, but perhaps it was not done killing, as the hand leapt up and tried to strangle him too. He was saved by the butler who was passing by. The hand escaped, only to be found guilty of a similar crime 5 years later, here in New York. That time it was trapped by a voodoo healer and kept in captivity until her death. Today it is owned by that same family, who were kind enough to let it be here today. It has not probably killed since all those years ago, but as it is a hand, we cannot be sure. So, watch your backs as we progress.”

Matt was confused, he really wasn’t going to let them see the hand a bit more? As if he heard his thoughts, the speaker announced: “I will now let you have a moment to observe the exhibit for yourselves.”

He nudged Foggy. “Does it look as scary as it sounds?” 

“Oh. Ye-“his voice broke, “yeah. It’s all shadows and dust.”

“Excellent.” Matt was grinning from ear to ear – it was real and it was happening! 

“Glad to see you find my misery amusing.”

The guide moved to another pedestal in the other corner. Foggy could swear that wasn’t there before. He only caught a glimpse of it, as the tall man moved so that no one could see. 

Using the same low voice, he intensely began the story. A shadow passed his face, making Foggy wonder what that was. 

“I am sure that you have heard of the great Edgar Allan Poe and his short story The Tell-tale Heart. In it, the protagonist murders a man because of his ‘vulture like eyes’” He paused and revealed a piercing blue eye still attached to the nerve endings resting on a velvet surface in what seemed like a palm of a hand. 

“The history is similar, but with a twist. Not so long ago, the institutions for the mentally ill were a terrible place where one could find those that weren’t in their right minds being treated with horrible methods that wouldn’t soften a rock if they had to. 

The owner of the eye was not an innocent person by anyone’s standards…” 

Same scene, recounted by Loki

This was all so boring, he made all these stories up one evening weeks ago. Not one thing he said was true or credible. The once upon a time, years ago blah blah blah were an easy give away. The main point was that he sold it well, the hushed tone of his voice counted for a lot more. Like when Shane Dawson tried to sell crazy conspiracy theories that were in no way scary as terrifying. 

Time passed, as he tried to remember the bullshit stories for the artefacts. 

Blah blah blah, a hand.  
Blah blah blah, an eye.  
Blah blah blah, a mummy.  
Blah blah blah, whatever was next. Remember the pace.

He really wasn’t feeling it tonight. They finally made it to the last room where the fake drained body was. Pretending like they weren’t supposed to see it, he announced in his best vampire voice that they simply have to die. 

Tony burst in, “I have finally found you! After years of searching, you will now face the same horrible fate you afforded my parents.”  
He took the fake sharpened wood out of his back pocket. With a swift movement he hit Loki’s blood sack that exploded everywhere and hit those in the front row. 

Foggy picks up the narration

As the spurt of blood hit him, everything went black. 

“Foggy!” A strange voice was calling his name. His head hurt and he was on the ground. How did he get there again? 

“Are you alright?” 

“Mmmkay.” He murmured. Speaking was hard. Trying again, he formed a much more enunciated ‘ok’. 

Dracula was standing over him, looking very concerned. That was a first. 

“Didn’t you get killed?” 

“Fake killed. I think the stab in the heart was too much for you.”

“It was the blood spurting. It hit me.”

Dracula looked down at Foggy’s shirt. “Oh, yes.”

“Please tell me that you’re the only one here.” Foggy slowly sat up. He couldn’t bear the embarrassment, now that he was sure he fainted. It’s not like he was a maiden in one of those old timey novels. 

“Tony chased them all away. Guess they thought it was part of the performance.”

“So you’re not actually a vampire. Good.”

“No, also that is not a real person. I’m just good at making lifelike things.”

“Too good. Please never make one again.” 

“Unfortunately, I am trying to make that my profession.”

“But in a non-creepy way, right?”

“Define that.” 

“Anything but this.”

“I was thinking film and theatre, does that count?”

“I’ll allow it.”

“I’m Loki by the way.”

“Odd name.”

“Are you sure about that, Foggy?” He put special attention to pronouncing Foggy as hard as he could with his fluent British accent.   
Loki helped him stand up. To Foggy’s surprise his friend was not in the room.

“Your friend is in the kitchen.” Great.

“Did I look lost again? I know I always look like that, I would prefer if people wouldn’t, you know, make it so obvious that it’s visible.”

“A specific request, but ok.”

They stood there. 

“Can you show me where the kitchen is?” 

“No problem.” With a quick and confident step, Loki, a name that still seemed far too strange to Foggy, lead the way through. Going back, the light was bright, but all the props were just as creepy.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Live here and not die of fear every night?”

“I stay in the bedroom, try not to pee at night.” He explained. 

A final turn and they were in a very hospitable kitchen. A bit tight compared to the rest of the apartment, but he knew how little they used theirs. Perhaps they were the same kind of people.

“You’re alive!” The other man greeted him, the one that stabbed Loki “Did my boyfriend take good care of you?” He was shorter than Matt, his hair was curly and a warm chocolate shade. 

“10/10 would not repeat again.” 

“Incredible use of an old meme, I approve.” He turned to the boiling kettle. “Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, all the alcohol?”

“Coffee is good. Thanks.”

“My name is Tony BTW.” They shook hands. 

“I feel like we should give you a plaque.” Tony wondered more to himself. Matt must have hear him because he gave a tiny smirk.  
“Rude.” Loki commented.

“What? He is the first person to faint.” Foggy’s heart stopped for a moment, he really was making a fool of himself. “I shouldn’t worry much; one person had a full on panic attack. Another screamed so loud that I thought something was actually wrong.”

“I remember that, you were doing your best Jack Nicholson in The Shining impression.” Loki said as he placed the last mug on the kitchen counter. He opened a different cabinet, took out a box saying PG tips. Out of it came a small pyramid shaped teabag. 

“I was so sure this place was just an urban legend.” Foggy was terrible at small talk. He never knew what to say.

“We don’t advertise much, we make one Instagram post when we open and another when we close.”

“Wow, Foggy, we literally could have googled it.” Matt finally spoke. He was awfully quiet, but he seemed to try very hard not to point his head anywhere near Tony. Not in the normal way he usually ‘looked’ at wherever he pleased, this was a purposeful action not to turn his head at whoever was speaking. 

“I suppose you could.” Tony distributed coffee. 

“What an awkward thing to say, but every damn year of our Halloween extravaganza list, visiting the haunted apartment is on the top of our list.”  
“You have a Halloween to do list? I love that, we should get one too, Tony.” Loki blew on his tea. “We do the same thing every year.” Mostly being tired after the midnight show. 

“Yeah, we always make a list. Things repeat themselves, but we live in hope of fulfilling them.” 

Matt was drinking his coffee like there was a time bomb with only 5 seconds before exploding and all that could stop it was him finishing the cup.

“Foggy, I think we’ve been intruding on their hospitality for too long.”

“oh.” 

Not waiting for a reply he went to the door. 

“Goodbye then.” Foggy said, “thanks for the coffee.” He shouted as he was dragged out by Matt. He was still holding the cup as the door slammed behind him. 

“That was weird as fuck.” Loki commented. “Did you ask him how he masturbates? You know you’re not allowed to ask that question anymore.” He took a sip of his tea, the bag still in the mug. 

“I didn’t ask him that question.” His boyfriend defended himself. “I may have asked him how he pees though.” 

“Why would you do that? Were you raised by wolves? The kind that had no manners?” 

“It just came out of my mouth, I was going to ask how he liked the haunted apartment, but instead of apartment my mouth formed ‘pee’” he defended himself.   
“Really, it’s not my fault, I couldn’t control it.” Tony concluded. 

“You have to apologise.” Loki demanded. 

“Fine.” He sighed in response. “Tomorrow. I’ll invite them to a pumpkin patch and pay for their rotund vegetables.” 

“Good, that’s settled, now I’m craving Chinese. Buy me some.” 

At the pumpkin patch, a chilly afternoon. There are children present 

Loki was holding a cup of hot tea in his hands waiting for Tony to return with a wheelbarrow. The blond man went with him, Foggy his name was, Loki remembered, leaving him to chat awkwardly with Matt. 

“How many pumpkins did you say you need again?”

“Eight.” Matt replied calmly. 

“Don’t people usually have two in their homes? That’s what Tony and I are getting. How would you even carry six pumpkins?” Loki paused, “not that I am judging your choice of pumpkin numbers.” He hastily explained himself. 

“It’s Foggy’s fault really. He wants to have two at home and use the remaining four to cook and bake with them.” 

“Right…” 

A group of children ran past them, excited to pick up tiny orange pumpkins with their tiny grubby hands. Loki wasn’t too fond of children. Their mother, looking exhausted was following a few paces behind. 

“Here we are!” Foggy announced, “let’s get pumpkin grabby!” 

“Not a thing.” Matt quickly replied. 

“It is now, let’s go.” He commandeered, as Tony and Loki were already making their way to the neat rows of green vines and orange vegetables. Loki made sure to step on every crunchy leaf he saw. He was so concentrated in his little game he didn’t notice his boyfriend had stopped. 

“Crap,” he mumbled and hurried back a few steps to see small and adorable pumpkins. Their guests were also there. 

“We should get a few small ones, there should be enough of puree to cook with.” Foggy theorised. 

Tony chimed in, “get one extra large one, just in case you need it.” 

“Right, that way, I can make extra food or a nuclear family of jack’o lanterns.” He accepted the idea. Matt the person Tony was supposed to be making amends to was off to the side and mute. 

“Wow, you two are like two peas in a pod.” Loki said sarcastically. 

“I know you’re being rude, babe, but I don’t care.” Tony rolled the remark off him. “There’s pumpkins here and they only deserve your adoration.” He picked up the tiniest one he could see and handed it to him. “It reminds me of you, small and sweet.” Loki accepted the gift. He could feel the small bumps and indentations through his gloves. The distant cries of children that probably tripped over pumpkins served as an unlikely soundtrack. 

“You guys are adorable,” cooed Foggy while Matt pretended to throw up behind him, he didn’t need working eyes to be disgusted by couples. 

“Aha.” Loki stated. “Let’s get the big pumpkins.” He remembered something. "By the way, we have something for you." From his dark grey Kanken backpack he produced a wooden square with a golden plaque. 

"To commemorate your visit." he added and handed it to Foggy. 

"In commemoration of the first person to faint in the haunted apartment, Foggy Nelson. May he not get fake blood in his eyes again." He read aloud. "You really shouldn't have."


End file.
